a life well lived

two

2012-03-12T11:04:00.003-07:00

This little sweetheart turned two on Saturday. I say this every time one of my kids' birthdays rolls around - how can it be? How can he be two already? Seems like just yesterday that we were anxiously awaiting the arrival of baby number three, excited to see if we would be adding a baby brother or sister to our family.

I also wonder this every year (and many times in between) - how is it that I was blessed with these precious children? For the blessing of this incredible son, I will be eternally grateful to the One from whom he was given.

Project 52 Week 10 {Personality}

2012-03-11T10:34:00.006-07:00

Silly.
Stubborn.
Fierce.
Spirited.
Intense.
Energetic.
Loving.
Emotional.
Loyal.
Our Isabel.

Linked 52 {Vegetables}

2012-03-09T11:17:00.005-08:00

This week's theme is Vegetables. In my case, Vegetables (or not). I often find myself on the "or not" side of life and I'm perfectly okay with that. Especially when the "or not" is Oreo cupcakes.

{happiness is...}

2012-03-07T11:40:00.004-08:00

{happiness is..} the first warm spring day of the new year.

Project 52 Week 8 {Light}

2012-02-24T10:44:00.004-08:00

Before I owned a big girl camera, I didn't really pay attention to the littlest details that surround me every day. I have a deeper appreciation for all the beauty that God has prepared for me and for the small, gorgeous details that make up the people I love the most.

When I look through my lens, a whole new world opens up to me. I see most everything differently than I ever did before, especially the light. The light and how it affects a photograph and how you feel when you see it. This year, I'm really striving to learn more about how to work with the light and find the best light. Since I live in a cold, northern state, I have been stuck inside a lot lately. The skies had been cold, dreary and grey until one morning this week. I went on a scavenger hunt through my house, hunting down the best light. Determined to capture just a bit of its glory. The striped tights were an added bonus.

the best camera

2012-02-22T06:05:00.000-08:00

I have often heard it said that the best camera you have is the one you have with you. It's no secret how much I adore my iPhone and its no secret that I take a ton of photos and videos of my kids with it. I wouldn't have been able to snap this little moment in time with my big fancy camera.

My almost-two-year-old has decided he wants to go potty on the toilet. As the mother of two girls before him, I have zero experience potty training little people with fire hoses attached to their bodies. I realize that someday my son will be less than thrilled that I've posted this photo of him in all his splendid glory, but seriously? How could I not? Look at those little buns! Sorry, buddy. I had to do it. This will not be the last time I totally embarrass you in front of strangers. Not sorry about that. :)

Project 52 Week 7 & Linked 52 {Body Parts}

2012-02-17T05:00:00.000-08:00

I missed last week for both my Project 52 and Linked 52. Such is life, eh? But here I am again and this week you're gettin' a two-fer - that's right, a two-for-one. :)

My boy has my eyes - nothing like those of his two sisters who are fair and blue. His are dark with lots of long, long lashes. One of my very favorite parts of his adorable almost two-year-old body.

If you have a quiet moment, check out what my friends are doing this week too:
Michelle, Heather, Jenn, Heather. Rhonda, Tracey, Stacey, Andrea, Jessica, Amanda, Sarah, Janet, Lesli, Carla, Lena, Rose, Naomi, Tracy, Heidi, Kristin, Veronica

visual therapy

2012-02-16T06:28:00.000-08:00

My friend, Stacey, recently shared a little visual therapy on her blog and I found myself lost in her images. It's February in Minnesota. It's not all that cold but it's grey and overcast most days. I needed a little visual therapy of my own. I went back through my photos from our Paris trip in September. I combed back through hundreds of photos and found myself smiling, laughing and remembering. Good for this soul. :)

You can find more Paris photos here, here, here, and here.

grace

2012-02-15T08:27:00.000-08:00

The idea of "grace" has been settled among rooms of my heart these last few weeks. What does it mean to have grace? To give grace - to myself and others? How difficult is it to grant myself grace when I need it most?

I'm giving myself space to just be. Whatever that is. If I don't want to take photos for 3 weeks, so be it. It's not that big of a deal. If I spend 2 hours in the afternoon laying on the couch, listening for His sweet whispers and discerning his voice, so be it. The dishes and laundry will wait. They will always wait. I'm at a point in my life when I just really want to stop comparing myself to others and just be who I was created to be.

The only "photographer" I should compare myself to is the one I used to be.

The only friend I should compare myself to is the one I used to be.

The only mother, wife, daughter I should compare myself to is the one I used to be.

And it's enough. I'm enough. YOU are enough.

Linked 52 {sleep}

2012-02-03T06:00:00.000-08:00

As the littlest of my littles, sweet John Boy is always along for the ride. He is my constant companion and we spend lots of time shuttling the girls to activities, school and play dates. We run errands (all the time, it seems), we stop for coffee with friends, and hit all the drive-thru's - the bank, the library, the pharmacy, Starbucks. :) He often cat naps in the car in between stops...I hate to wake him. I rarely listen to the radio or talk on the phone in the car...I much prefer his itty bitty snoring and the quiet that comes with the littlest of littles.

The list of friends playing along has grown mightily in just a few weeks. Take a minute to peek at {sleep} through their lens.

Michelle, Heather, Jenn, Heather. Rhonda, Tracey, Stacey, Andrea, Jessica, Amanda, Sarah, Janet, Lesli, Carla, Lena, Rose, Naomi, Tracy, Heidi, Kristin, Veronica

Project 52 Week 5 {Simplicity}

2012-02-02T06:18:00.001-08:00

"Simplicity is ultimately a matter of focus." ~Ann Voskamp

seeing beauty

2012-01-29T08:38:00.000-08:00

"I want to see beauty in the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep." ~ Ann Voskamp

Project 52 Week 4 {Imperfection}

2012-01-28T12:18:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure the image doesn't need any explanation. As a type A personality, this sort of thing makes my skin crawl. But it is what it is....I just close the door and walk away. If I picked it up and made the bed, I'm fairly certain it would return to this state in less than 15 minutes. Ignore the mess? Problem solved. :)

i am what i am

2012-01-25T10:27:00.000-08:00

I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am. - John Newton

Project 52 Week 3 {Inspiration}

2012-01-21T17:48:00.001-08:00

I am still overflowing with emotion and pride from all that took place over the past few days. It's difficult to put into words. More photos to come.

Linked 52: Breakfast

2012-01-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

The theme this week was "Breakfast." I'm not much of a breakfast girl. Or an early morning girl. But I am a coffee girl. Funny thing is that, 6 out of 7 days a week, I get up early and make my kids and hearty hot breakfast. Eggs, bacon, toast, bagels, pancakes, oatmeal. But I just never eat it. I love breakfast food any other time of the day...except at breakfast. How many times have I said breakfast so far? Too many.

I'm linking up again this week with some fabulous ladies. Check out what "breakfast" looks like through their eyes.

Jenn
Michelle
Heather
Tracey
Stacey
Andrea
Jessica
Kristin
Amanda
Sara
Janet

2012-01-15T11:42:00.000-08:00

Photographing this little face never, ever gets old. And the fact that he has peanut butter & jelly all over his sweet face makes it even better.

Linked 52: Cold

2012-01-13T06:12:00.001-08:00

A group of insanely talented photographers (read: way more talented than I) are linking up this year to do a Project 52 of their own: Linked 52. They invited me to participate. I'm not sure how often I'll link up but I was able to run out this morning and snap something to go along with the theme this week. And, sadly, we have finally hit cold here. It's been really warm and beautiful here for January and we really don't have any snow. But this morning? It. is. COLD.

Have a peek at what my friends are doing too.

Jenn
Michelle
Heather
Tracey
Stacey
Andrea
Jessica
Kristin
Amanda
Sara
Janet

"Life"

2012-01-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

Week two of my Project 52. I'm still on the bandwagon! This week's theme was "Life." So broad and so open to interpretation. I don't normally do well in this atmosphere - that of the wide open, unknown, vast. I'm a details person and very Type A so its difficult for me to run with such a broad theme. I suppose it's just another way I'm learning to push and stretch myself in this new year.

I had an idea in my head for this week and the photo that I'm using is nothing like my original idea. I'm not even sure exactly how this reflection turned out this way. But I like it. It's far from technically perfect and the composition that I ended up with is a little...interesting. All that being said, I like it. Reminds me of life - we have ideas and hopes and dreams for ourselves and often the life we are given is nothing like we've imagined. And that's okay. And it can still be beautiful and unique.

2012-01-08T18:38:00.000-08:00

Marine Corps Prayer

"Almighty Father, whose command is over all and whose love never fails, make me aware of Thy presence and obedient to Thy will. Keep me true to my best self, guarding me against dishonesty in purpose and deed and helping me to live so that I can face my fellow Marines, my loved ones, and Thee without shame or fear. Protect my family.

Give me the will to do the work of a Marine and to accept my share of responsibilities with vigor and enthusiasm. Grant me the courage to be proficient in my daily performance. Keep me loyal and faithful to my superiors and to the duties my Country and the Marine Corps have entrusted to me. Help me to wear my uniform with dignity, and let it remind me daily of the traditions which I must uphold.

If I am inclined to doubt, steady my faith; if I am tempted, make me strong to resist; if I should miss the mark, give me courage to try again.

Guide me with the light of truth and grant me wisdom by which I may understand the answer to my prayer. Amen."

Steady my faith this week, Lord. When I am tempted to doubt and fear, make me strong to resist. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." ~Joshua 1:9

winter berries

2012-01-03T09:11:00.000-08:00

Christmas break is over.

Caroline's back to school today. I miss her already.

Isabel has the nasty stomach bug that's going around. So that's fun.

Jack isn't eating anything except frozen waffles. So that's weird. And frustrating.

It's Tuesday but it feels like Sunday. Or Thursday. I'm confused.

***

"Your journey has molded you for greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be.
Don't think that you have lost time.
It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now.
And now is right on time."
-Unknown

This speaks so clearly to the journey of someone I love very dearly. His time is right now. My prayer is that he will continue to walk into the fullness of all that God has for him.

year in review ~ 2011

2011-12-30T07:30:00.001-08:00

I started this blog with no real expectations and a lot of fear. What I couldn't have known is how much this blog and photography would grow and stretch me; challenge me and confirm so many things in my life. I am more comfortable now in my own skin than I have ever been.

I have learned to endure criticism and have grown a thicker skin. Grown more comfortable in knowing what makes me happy in my images and being okay with that. Whatever it is.

I have met some really talented photographers who have been warm, supportive and encouraging to me this year. Photography is not really about photographs. It's about connections. I have been witness to raw, heartbreaking, beautiful and joyful images this year through my newest friends and I have been immeasurably inspired by them. Thank you to each and every one of you.

Looking ahead to 2012 is exciting. So much possibility and promise. I'm going to do a Project 52 (and really stick to it!) and I'm looking forward to more growth, more creativity and inspiration. I'm excited to see what the new year brings.

A year in review - a few of my most treasured photographs.

January 18, 2011

February 20, 2011

April 24, 2011

April 8, 2011

May 18, 2011

June 11, 2011

June 8. 2011

July 23, 2011

August 27, 2011

September 10, 2011

September 12, 2011

September 11, 2011

August 31, 2011

September 19, 2011

October 15, 2011

October 4, 2011

October 22, 2011

November 9, 2011

December 30, 2011 - Looking ahead to a bright 2012. P52/Week 1

Life doesn't have to be big and fancy and overdone.

It can be ordinary, quiet. And full.

Full and well lived.

Wishing you a full and well lived 2012, friends.

2011-12-28T11:03:00.000-08:00

"And when I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me." ~ Ann Voskamp

snowflakes

2011-12-21T08:15:00.000-08:00

"Nature is full of genius, full of the divinity; so that not a snowflake escapes its fashioning hand." ~Thoreau

2011-12-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

Several weeks ago, we took a family trip where the skies were blue and the wind was warm. And where everyone is always having a magical day. (wink wink)

Believe it or not, I left my big girl camera at home and only brought my trusty-rusty point and shoot. I know, I know....but I made it through and actually snapped some pretty decent photos. On a trip like that where my primary job is keeping track of the three living, breathing, beautiful children that I call my own, I just couldn't do the whole photography/present Mommy thing that I wanted to do. And ya know what? Mission accomplished. Some decent photos of our trip and our time together (I was even IN some of the photos!! gasp!) and I didn't miss my sweet Nikon a bit.

weirdness

2011-12-15T14:11:00.000-08:00

There just aren't words for all the weirdness that goes on here somedays...

Have I told you how much I love my iPhone & Instagram?

elf cookies & christmas magic

2011-12-13T17:51:00.001-08:00

I succumbed last year to the madness that is Elf on the Shelf. The girls squealed with delight as we read the book and named our very own elf. His name, you ask? Collin Nutcracker. Izzie wanted to name him Collin and Caroline was obsessed with nutcrackers last year and that was her vote - so, we compromised and now we have Collin Nutcracker.

Nightly trips to the North Pole must make a guy, even a pint-sized one, pretty hungry. So we made Collin some cookies tonight - don't they look delicious? Caroline carefully packaged them in a little box with a ribbon and a note. So precious. I often wonder how long this Christmas magic will last before I have to start bribing her not to let Jack and Iz in on "the secret". I'm hoping I have at least a few more years...this is just too much fun. To see the wonder and magic of Christmas through my children's eyes will never, ever get old.

merry merry

2011-12-10T17:48:00.000-08:00

merry and bright. twinkly christmas lights. a cozy saturday night at home. peace. joy. merry merry.

hold on, sister

2011-12-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, they fight like cats and dogs. He swipes her glasses off her face in a drive-by sorta way and runs off. She retaliates and someone always ends up in tears. She bosses him around like she's the Queen of England. He sasses back to her in his 20 month-old dialect and she gets flaming mad. She tells him he doesn't get to go to Disney World. He swipes her lovey bear and runs off (are you seeing a pattern of behavior here?). All of the aforementioned happen on a daily - sometimes hourly - basis.

So imagine the little dance my heart does when I turn around after preschool pick-up and see this. No prompting from me, no polite begging to please be nice to one another for just 5 seconds. And then imagine me talking to myself (well, them, really) - "please hold hands for just 3 more seconds while I get my beloved iPhone out for a snap - I must capture photographic evidence that they can, indeed, love one another and be nice to one another for 5 seconds." I knew they could do it. :)

This mama's heart was so full it almost hurt.

totally random tuesday

2011-11-29T14:35:00.000-08:00

How funny is this hat? And the fact that he looks like he is a cone head while wearing it? This makes me laugh. :)

Caroline wanted to be sure I snapped a photo of her showcasing her mad hula hoopin' skills for Uncle John. When I told her he wouldn't see it until we mailed him a real honest-to-goodness picture, she said, "well, that's fine. I can still go a lot longer than he can." Oh, sweet girl. I'm pretty sure he'll have some mad new skills to show you the next time we see him too.

Life can be so hard when you're four years old, can't it?

Sadly, it's getting dark by about 5pm these days. I still love that late afternoon light and the long shadows, even if I have to really hustle outside to capture its insane beauty just a few more times before the snow flies.

Sometimes I feel like I'm only standing at the edge of all that He has for me. Today I was reminded again that I am chosen. Loved. Cherished. Beautiful. Of sound mind. Marvelous. A daughter of the King. And not because of anything I've done but only because of who He is. Good stuff.

today

2011-11-22T11:04:00.000-08:00

today I am...

loving the song "a thousand years" by christina perri.

baking cornbread for the stuffing i will make tomorrow. yum.

battling a sinus infection. i forgot how yucky this feels.

missing my brother.

looking forward to out-of-town company this weekend.

feeling hopeful that God will relieve the anxiety and worry for one of my kiddos.

feeling uninspired in the photo department.

grateful for my many blessings.

posting a photo with myself in it. yikes!! that never happens. but izzie snapped this photo and it's so me - my long hoodie, leggings, no make-up, kissing my babies. she did alright. ;)

mmmm....cookies.....

2011-11-11T11:06:00.001-08:00

Fall and baking go hand-in-hand around here. Chocolate chip cookies with peanut butter chips AND milk chocolate chips? Yes, please. John Boy's chubby little hands trying to swipe cookie dough off my cookie sheet? Yes, please. The smell of fresh baked cookies floating through my house and cookie crumbs all over John Boy's face? Absolutely. Go bake yourself a batch with your favorite little person - you'll be so glad you did. :)

Do you see my little swiper in the background?! Love it.

leaning in

2011-11-09T14:45:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite time of year. The crisp air, the changing colors and the anticipation of the holidays and family. I find myself picking up my camera daily - as a way to lean in to fall and to my family; into the season and into a deeper, more meaningful relationship with my heavenly Father.

Camera in hand, I am finding a peace and rest that I so long for and seek right now. Photography is such a journey and a process for me and, as the days go by, I'm am finding it to be so much more than that. I will be ever thankful for this passion and the ways in which it is transforming me.

2011-11-06T17:11:00.000-08:00

"Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again." ~Joseph Campbell

He alone is my refuge

2011-11-06T08:07:00.000-08:00

*All images SOOC.

psalm 91 (nlt)

1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.
3 For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from deadly disease.
4 He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
nor the arrow that flies in the day.
6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
7 Though a thousand fall at your side,
though ten thousand are dying around you,
these evils will not touch you.
8 Just open your eyes,
and see how the wicked are punished.

9 If you make the Lord your refuge,
if you make the Most High your shelter,
10 no evil will conquer you;
no plague will come near your home.
11 For he will order his angels
to protect you wherever you go.
12 They will hold you up with their hands
so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
13 You will trample upon lions and cobras;
you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

14 The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name.
15 When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them.
16 I will reward them with a long life
and give them my salvation.”

Halloween

2011-11-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by saying that Halloween is not my holiday. It just isn't. I don't get all the skeletons, gore and scary stuff. I don't dress up and costume parties are definitely not my thing. I can never think of anything funny or original. That being said, I had a blast last night with my kids. The weather was mild (blizzard of '91, anyone??), the kids were totally excited to trick-or-treat, and Jack was so much fun to have along this year. He waddled along behind the girls, wanting to ring doorbells and collect treats. He would smile his sheepish little smile and laugh and say "tee tee!" and the girls were so sweet with him and wanting to include him in all the fun. So adorable and definitely a Halloween I'll remember for years to come.

{happiness is...}

2011-10-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, friend, but today I would welcome any distraction that might just put a big ol' smile on my face. This did the trick....

{happiness is...} kisses from a baby brother who absolutely adores you.

a gentle & quiet spirit

2011-10-25T06:44:00.000-07:00

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

see you soon

2011-10-24T11:18:00.000-07:00

I don't have many words for the "see you soon" we had to say last weekend. It was so hard. But it was also good. Necessary. Life-giving.

We adore you. The way they look at you and laugh, the smiles reserved especially for you, the hugs that last for minutes. These are the things we'll hold onto during the months ahead.

"To observe a Marine is inspirational; to be a Marine is exceptional." ~Unknown

favorites

2011-10-21T17:29:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so, so fortunate. I've had the pleasure of photographing quite a few families recently and while I'm up to my eyeballs in photos to sort through and edit, it feels great. It's still hard for me to believe that people are really asking me (and trusting me) to do this for them - to capture this moment in time for their family. I always feel so blessed and honored having been with each one of them.
I'm also feeling so fortunate and blessed to have an adoring husband who is my biggest fan. He is so supportive, encouraging and believes more in me than I do in myself. He is pushing me (gently) to develop my passion and to really see where it takes me. He is a gift and I'm so thankful to have such a great guy with whom to share this life. Enough mush, right?! On to the photos...here are some of my favorites lately. Photos of my own little loves coming soon too. :)

Happy weekend, friends.
xo

so very many things

2011-10-17T10:52:00.000-07:00

Words can be hurtful. Or healing. Comforting or destructive. Often there are no words for what we are feeling or going through, just silent prayers and words only our hearts can speak.

There are so very many things we can speak with our mouths but infinitely more we can speak with our hearts to those we love.

totally random tuesday

2011-10-04T18:00:00.000-07:00

well, hello there. life is busy, right? i have a lot on my plate right now but i found a few minutes this evening to snap some photos of my own littles while we played in the backyard, savoring the indian summer we're having. fall is my very favorite time of year. i love everything about it - the smells, the leaves, the chill in the air (even though it was 83 degrees here today...)

some random photos and some random thoughts to go along with them:

yep. she's alllll mine.

dirty, bare feet in october in minnesota. crazy! and head first down the slide. something's not going to end well here.

if you are my 18-month-old son, this is no ordinary slide. it is an olympic luge track and you are going for american gold, baby. my son isn't wearing any shoes. no, we are not hilbillies. i pick my battles and it was almost bathtime anyway. yes, he has a big boo-boo on his face and eye. this crazy kid jumped off the olympic luge track the other night and his poor little face met the mulch and paver stones below. ouch.

be still, my heart. my amazing, beautiful boy. i never cease to wonder how i was so infinitely blessed with these children.

the massive oak trees in our back yard have started dropping their leaves. oak leaves = fall. fall = love.

and this? this is just a sample of some of the gorgeous sunsets we've been seeing here lately. and this is a shot taken straight-out-of-camera. no editing, no fussing, no tweaking. it's not perfect. and i happen to really like it.

xo,
am

lovers locks

2011-09-30T12:19:00.000-07:00

I captured this photo crossing one of the large bridges over the River Seine in Paris. Tradition is that lovers will put a lock on the bridge and throw the key into the water below, symbolizing their commitment to one another. I could have stayed for hours, reading the names and dates, the inscriptions to one another. I love this...I only wish we'd had a lock along with us.

2011-09-27T06:05:00.000-07:00

"It is only when you understand your true value that you can begin to have and do all that God has for you...because sometimes all it takes is realizing that you're worth it." ~ Christine Caine

2011-09-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

As a mother, I can usually take care of what ails my children. An ice pack for a bump on the head. Band-aid for a bleeding knee. Motrin and snuggles for a fever. Chicken and noodles for the sniffles. This is what we do as mothers, right? We make it better.

My girl has always been predictable. Steady. Constant. But right now? She's throwin' us for a loop. And I'm at a loss for how to make it better. So I'm doing all I know to do and keeping this verse close ~ "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12

I adore this photo of my sweet Caroline.

paris {versailles}

2011-09-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

We took a day trip to the Chateau de Versailles. Built for Louis XIV, this palace set the standard of culture for all of Europe. The paintings, carvings and beauty of this palace are breathtaking. Many of my indoor photos simply cannot capture the enormity or grandeur of it all. We were able to tour the King's and Queen's bedchambers (birthplace of 19 French princes), the Royal Chapel where mass was held every morning at 10am, and the Hall of Mirrors.

The Gardens at Versailles are incredible. It is said that Louis XIV himself presided over their care until his death. This is also where he threw his biggest parties.

As with most of my Paris photos, they just aren't enough. I look at them and, as beautiful as these places are in the photos, they are more beautiful and grand in person.

paris {notre dame}

2011-09-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

It's hard to know where to start with my photos from our trip and I realize that my first post was a bit random. I have so many beautiful photos I want to share and I'm going to try to organize them a bit by post.

These photos are from the Notre-Dame Cathedral. The photos simply cannot do this church justice. It was built in 1163 and is situated right along the River Seine. It was breath-taking and I get chills just remembering our time there. I have tons and tons of images but these are some of my favorites. Enjoy.

paris

2011-09-16T10:54:00.000-07:00

Matt was invited to a Mayo Clinic conference in Paris. So, naturally, I invited myself along. Well, actually, that's not entirely true. I needed a bit of convincing to make the trans-Atlantic trip but I can say now that I'm so happy I did. It was incredible. I have lots and lots of photos to share so I'll be doing several posts. Enjoy!

my isaboo

2011-09-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

Today was Isabel's first day of preschool for the year. She was thrilled that today was "her day." It was tough staying home yesterday, watching the neighbor kids and her sister/best friend get on the school bus and drive away. We kept ourselves busy - both for her sake and mine - and we were happy to have C home at 3:30. Today Isabel asked me to pack her the same lunch Caroline took on her first day (even though she doesn't eat lunch at school but I packed it for her and we ate it together on the deck). She wanted her first day photos taken in the same places as Caroline had and even tried to smile like Caroline. Just melted my heart, this girl. :)

first day, first grade

2011-09-06T10:49:00.001-07:00

Sent my girl off early this morning for her first day of first grade. How did this happen? Where has the time gone?

Do you think she was excited??

last of summer

2011-08-31T18:48:00.000-07:00

Today we'll finish a busy week of last-minute school shopping and open houses for the girls. Come Tuesday, we'll be sending these three beauties off to school. Isabel to her last year of preschool, Caroline to first grade and Nana to her 34th year of teaching English to pimple-faced, hormone-crazed teens.

We're off to celebrate Labor Day in a big way, Wisconsin-style, this weekend. Don't worry - I'll eat some deep fried cheese curds for you. I'm all about taking one for the team. ;) Enjoy your holiday weekend, friends!

nine years

2011-08-31T06:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Anniversary to the guy that still makes my heart go pitter-patter.

not now

2011-08-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

Here's what I know for sure: God, in his infinite wisdom, has plans and purpose for my life. There are no accidents. Nothing is random. Every gift and blessing I have comes from Him. All my trials and roadblocks in life serve a purpose though I cannot always see what that may be in the moment. Prayers are always answered. I may not like the answer. Maybe I won't see the answer to a prayer in this lifetime or in this earthly place. But I know that He is listening. And sometimes...maybe..."no" doesn't mean "no." Maybe it just means "not now."

not yet

2011-08-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

you watch the big kids ride bikes and play hide-and-seek. you follow along behind them, jabbering and shouting, hoping they'll wait for you. they'll wait for you...but not yet.

you put your hands in your pockets like a big guy. i find all kinds of treasures stuffed into your grubby shorts at day's end.

you sit on their big wheels and try to get on your sister's bike. you're not quite there yet, buddy. not yet.

you will be there soon, sweet boy. you will chase and run and hide and seek. you will bike and you will skate and scoot. soon. but please. please, not yet. if i could bottle up this time and keep you little for just a little longer, believe me...i would.

the lake {part one}

2011-08-22T10:33:00.001-07:00

We spent last week on the lake in northern Wisconsin with my parents and brother. We had a ball. We swam, fished, went for boat rides, drank cold beer and just really enjoyed being together.

I took some photos but not nearly as many as one might think. It seems funny to say but I felt like I didn't want to ruin it by horning in there with my camera all the time. I didn't want anything standing between me and the precious moments that were happening. I wanted to be fully present in those moments, rather than seeing the moments happen with the buffer of my camera in between us.

Sometimes having a camera to my face allows me to disconnect from real life and become lost in trying to capture what I see in my mind and what I see through the lens, trying to merge the two. And yet there are times when I want to get a shot and know that I should really pick up my camera but I can't bear to miss what's really happening. While photos allow us to remember and re-live special moments, they cannot take the place of really being there when they happen; being fully present in those moments with the people we love most.

tell me

2011-08-20T18:54:00.001-07:00

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
~Mary Oliver

precious new life

2011-08-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

Is there anything more precious or life-affirming than a brand new baby? I think not.

Look how relaxed and beautiful mom looks. Seriously. This gorgeous gal just had a baby ten days ago. Ten days into this new life with three little girls, she is relaxed and taking it all in stride.

What a learning experience this was for me. Lighting, baby skin tones, posing a newborn, trying to get a newborn to stay "posed" for a few snaps. And relax. Breathe. Take it all in. This is such a fleeting, sweet time with these new little ones...soak it all up because baby J will be runnin' with the big girls in no time.

bel air

2011-08-07T13:04:00.001-07:00

My sweet hubby loves three things: his family, golf and cars. And the Packers. That's four things but he's allowed four things.

I love that photography is limitless - there is no limit to what you can capture in front of your lens. You are limited only by yourself and your imagination. While I love to capture sweet little faces and intimate moments, I'm pushing myself to capture other things too - things outside my comfort zone. Things that might be meaningful to others. Things that stretch my skill set and push me farther along in this journey.

This '53 Chevy Bel Air is something I would never really be interested in. But you know how when you love someone you take an interest in what they love? Well, this is right up my hubby's alley. He's all over this.

I don't love the reflection of my house and garage door. But I do love the angle I chose. What do you photograph that's outside your comfort zone? What have you learned by doing so?

a new friend

2011-08-06T11:23:00.000-07:00

my girls have been hunters this week. hunting for frogs, toads, grasshoppers big and small. I love that these images say summer to me. Dirty finger nails, tank tops and little creatures from the yard.

{happiness is...}

2011-08-03T10:39:00.000-07:00

{happiness is...} making monster cookies in your underwear.

***
My bloggy friend, Andrea, is joining me in this series. Hop on over to her corner of the world and take a look around. You will, no doubt, see some amazing photos there. Enjoy!

today

2011-08-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

today I'm thankful for promises.
for true love.
for His grace.
that I am a work in progress, not just someone racing toward an unknown ~ there is a plan for me.
I'm thankful for the www. the inspiration I have found and friendships I have forged are are truly a gift. seriously...what did we do before the internet?
I'm thankful for my silly kiddos.
for my pajamas.
for People magazine and quiet time in the afternoon.

the pendulum

2011-07-25T12:04:00.000-07:00

I took these photos the other night and I'm in love with them. My lens completely fogged up when I sat down in the damp grass to start shooting. It's been so very humid and hot here lately and the air is heavy and saturated. At first I kept trying to wipe my lens off and clear the condensation that was forming. But when I checked the images on my LCD screen I think I actually said, "oh my..." out loud. I just loved the softness and the warm, golden glow in the background from the setting sun.

And then when I converted them to black and white I thought I might just die and go to heaven. I really love them. The pendulum of self-doubt and criticism swings violently from one extreme to the other around here - either I love my photos and don't care what others think or feel when they see them or I completely question why I even own a camera. It doesn't make any sense, does it? Lately, okay like the last 3 days, I've really been enjoying my photos. I think I'd like to stay on this ride a little longer, please.

just love

2011-07-23T09:36:00.001-07:00

no words today. just love.

...and my favorite...

life is funny

2011-07-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

It's funny how life works out. It's rarely what we've planned or dreamed for ourselves.

I was going to have a big girl job at a big time agency downtown.

I was going to wear great shoes and work 12 hour days.

My career was going to be super important; it was going to define me. I was going to be successful.

Matt and I were going to travel and enjoy lots of great restaurants with friends.

I was not going to drive a mini-van. Or wear yoga pants in public.

Life is funny that way. It's rarely what we've planned or dreamed for ourselves.

I look at all I have now - my family, my husband, my "work." I cannot believe these things were not part of my dreams. Or maybe they were always my dreams but I just didn't know it....not yet.

{happiness is...}

2011-07-11T11:18:00.000-07:00

{happiness is...} Superman ice cream. Or pretty much any kind of ice cream if you are a member of our family.

A new ice cream shop opened up in our little town last week - Cow Interrupted. How cute is that? Its a great little place and I really hope they sell lots and lots of ice cream.

I snapped a few photos of the girls and as I looked through them I had to laugh. I can't tell you how many times I've wondered in the past 4 years how they could have possibly come from the same womb. They are so completely different. Izzie stuck her tongue out and crossed her eyes in every single photo and Caroline just smiled sweetly. Izzie was also wearing one of her signature outfits - her tye-dyed Wee Tigers preschool shirt, a cotton floral skirt (a very frequent choice) and an apron. Don't ask. Oh, and purple socks (which not only did not match her outfit, they didn't even match each other) with sneakers. That's serious couture right there. And Miss Caroline just sat sweetly on the bench outside, smiling for the camera when it was pointed her way. And Jack? Fugetaboutit...I can barely keep up with him, let alone get a photo of him lately. He's my new Mission Impossible. ;)

baby j's 1st birthday

2011-07-07T10:20:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share a few of my favorite photos from a recent day at the Zoo with a very special one-year old. His mom and dad asked me to spend the morning with them at the zoo to capture his first visit there and his first birthday. He was really unsure of me at first but thankfully he warmed up after just a bit and was sweet as pie.

Just when I don't think I can see where this whole photography thing is going, I get a phone call or email to take photos for someone else. And it is in these times that I remind myself, once again, that I don't have to worry about what's ahead or what it all means or what I should be doing. Getting these calls and emails is confirmation that it's all good - that I'm right where I should be. I have been given this passion for photography and He continues to bless me and show me that I am on the path that he is laying out before me.

On to some adorable baby photos!!

{happiness is...}

2011-07-06T10:30:00.001-07:00

{happiness is...} a slip 'n slide. 'nough said.

{happiness is...}

2011-07-01T12:49:00.000-07:00

Many of my blogger friends and photographers that I follow do a series each week or post images related to a special project that they are involved in or working on. While I love the idea of a Project 365 or 52, or a weekly theme to keep me motivated and snapping away, let's be real - it ain't happenin'. I couldn't keep up and then I would beat myself up about it and what's the point in that? This isn't high school and I'm not being graded here. But I just know myself and I know that's what would happen so I just save myself from all that nonsense. See? I AM getting smarter as I get older.

But, what I have decided to do is my own little series that I'm calling {happiness is...}. Each of us has something each day to be thankful for, to celebrate. Here's to looking at all the ways happiness shows up in my life...

{happiness is...} a goofy baby that tries to dress himself in daddy's scrubs. He has a crazy laugh and we can't help but laugh right along with him.

sneak peek

2011-07-01T06:23:00.000-07:00

These days I'm often asking, "what's next for me?" or "what am I supposed to do now?" or "what will come of this?" I wonder for myself, for my kids, for my sweet husband, for my close friends. There are times when I would do just about anything to know what's on the other side, to have a sneak peek at what's ahead.

But then I remind myself: He's got this. "For I know the plans I have for you..." (Jer 29:11). I can rest in the peace that only He can bring - I don't have to know what's ahead or all that's in store for me because HE does. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And in case I need any more affirmation, I just look into these beautiful eyes and all is right with the world. I can smile and know that everything is going to be just as it should be.

{summertime bucket list} strawberry picking

2011-06-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

For the past two summers the kids and I have made our own little "bucket list" of things we'd like to do before September rolls around. Strawberry picking was at the top of our (ok, my) list this year. We picked lots of juicy, red berries and have the sticky fingers and strawberry-stained clothes to prove it. Jack was a strawberry-eating machine - some of the photos I caught of him just make me laugh. He was two-fisting his berries and as soon as someone would offer him another or he would spot a strawberry nearby, he would chuck the ones in his hands and leave them for dead....on to the next! Needless to say, I think we'll probably make another trip to the strawberry patch next week before the berries are done for the year.

The girls and I will be making strawberry shortcake this afternoon - hooray for sunshine and summertime!

*As a side note to the my photo friends, what is your best advice for shooting in direct sunlight? I obviously couldn't avoid it in this situation and did the best I could but I'm not thrilled with the shadows and harsh light. Any tips or tricks for shooting in direct sun would be very much appreciated. Over and out...

picture perfect

2011-06-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

I had the amazing opportunity to photograph a beautiful family last week. They were picture perfect - sun-kissed skin, gorgeous smiles and sweet and loving personalities. I had so much fun!

I'm learning so much about photography during these sessions with friends and families and learning that so much of beautiful photography is really about connection. Connecting with people in an honest and genuine way really makes the best images.

anticipation

2011-06-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get the feeling that something pretty great is just around the corner? That you're about to have some really good times and you should drink them in, hold on to them tightly and really be in the moments that lie ahead?

That's how I'm feeling tonight. All sappy and dreamy about our summer. My littles are 6, 4 and 15 months. Life is busy. Not gonna lie - there's plenty of whining, complaining, fighting, crying and bad attitude goin' around over here some days. But, honestly, I'm really looking forward to having all my little chicks close to the nest for the next three months. The four of us snuggled in Izzie's bed this morning and I heard the soft whisper that is becoming more and more familiar...."Don't let it be a blur. Soak it in. These are the days you will carry with you for all of your life." And it was then that I knew we are going to have a special summer. Lots of big things on the horizon - wedding, vacations, art camp, etc. But I'm also really looking forward to all the little things. Morning snuggles, park playdates, picnics at the beach, bike rides, mud-pie making. My prayer tonight - Lord, please don't let it be a blur.

summer break

2011-06-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

Summer break officially begins today. There were tears and smiles yesterday. Today there are only smiles and lots of talk of letter writing, picture drawing and pool lounging. Lots of talk about all the things we want to do this summer and lots of daydreaming on my part about the time we can spend at home and just be.

happy summer to you, my friends.

I promise that my son is not always shoveling food into his mouth and generally looking like a mess. Although I realize it may appear this way... ;)

Popsicle eating is a very thoughtful activity around here. Oh, Miss Caroline...

And my Isaboo...couldn't resist a shot of the ruffle-buttom swimsuit. Love.

SOOC summer

2011-06-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'm going to do the thing I'm super afraid to do...post photos that were taken straight-out-of-camera (SOOC). No editing, no tweaking, no fussing or adjusting. It's kinda like when you go to the doctor, gown up, and the doctor walks in and says, "Okay, please drop your gown." Yikes!! There is no hiding or running from what's really there. The good, the bad and the ugly. So you take a couple deep breathes and try to think of unicorns or the beach or...anything.

When I started this photography blog in January it was intended to be a learning tool for me and a way for me to see where my photography had been and how much I had improved over the course of one year (fingers crossed, anyway). So I'm throwing these photos out there and hoping to look back and see what I could have done differently to make them better.

Deep breathe........and unicorns........

the view from here

2011-06-02T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today was Izzie's last day of preschool for the year. All the end-of-the-year festivities are kicking off for the kids and the summer is stretching out before us. I'm lovin' it. What does the view look like where you are?

believing for the best

2011-05-31T17:58:00.000-07:00

It was my kid brother's birthday over the weekend. He's not really a kid anymore though I guess. He's 28 and finally, finally pursuing his dream and what I believe is God's plan for his life. There are lots of big changes ahead for my brother in the next few months and years. When I think about all that lies ahead, I am, at times, overcome with fear and panic. Fear of everything and fear of the unknown. I realize that I cannot spend the next few years in this constant state of fear about what may or may not happen, where he may or may not be. These are all things that are out of my control.

What I can control is what I believe. I believe that God works for the good of those who love him. I believe that if I choose fear, it will rule my life. I believe that if I choose faith, I am believing God for the best. I am believing that when I ask my Heavenly Father to watch over him, to protect him and to guide him, that He will do just that. And that His plan and His will are perfect.

"Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you." Deut 31:6 (The Message)

2011-05-26T08:35:00.001-07:00

I shot this photo about a week ago. It was an overcast but warm day. I was just fooling around and caught several images that I didn't think much of at the time. When I got home and brought them up on my monitor, my first thought was, "Huh. That's kinda sad and depressing." I don't remember feeling this way at the time of shooting this photo though. Then I remembered an article I recently read by Tracey Clark over at Shutter Sisters.

"Over the weekend, during a low moment, I stepped outside for a little fresh-air therapy when, right near my front door, these tender leaves caught my eye. Tiny droplets from the previous night's rain were catching the only glimmer of light offered by the morning diffused with weather. The leaves looked so delicate and sweet. It wasn't until I pulled the images up on my monitor that I noticed a sadness, as the frail foliage seemed to be weighed down with each drop, weary with the burden. I felt through the image what I felt myself.

Does all this mean we do truly create photographs that mirror the state we're in? Do we shoot, saddled with our sorrow, or jubilant with joy, allowing our intimate vulnerabilities to be exposed through our work? Or, do we instead shoot through our exhaustion and despite our weariness in order to seek some kind of clarity powerful enough to lift us from our fog? Perhaps it's all dependent on what we need more at the moment we click - to express ourselves or to save ourselves. To realize that photography, this gift we have for interpreting others, can be just as much a tool for interpreting ourselves."

My goodness, I found this so fascinating. Makes me wonder. How about you? Does art imitate life?

fresh perspective

2011-05-25T11:58:00.000-07:00

After a visit with our pediatrician and a pediatric opthamologist in the last few weeks, it was determined that Isabel needed glasses. She was thrilled with the idea. Four hours into this, she is not so thrilled. And there is absolutely no way to keep them clean and fingerprint-free. No. Way.

We've been told that the first week can be a little rough while she adjusts to wearing them and her eyes adjust to this fresh perspective. But we'll stick it out and we'll all get used to seeing her behind her snazzy new specs. Seeing her with glasses just makes me laugh and want to hug her a million times. I want to tell her she's beautiful and funny, not "Four Eyes." That will surely come.

I snapped a few images of her doing her happy dance (or somethin' like that...) when we got home. I said to her, "show me how excited you are about your new glasses!" and this is what you get....our funny, beautiful girl.

his curls

2011-05-24T05:39:00.000-07:00

"Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever...it remembers the little things, long after you have forgotten everything." ~Aaron Siskind

starting somewhere

2011-05-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

It's a cliche - "You've gotta start somewhere!" But that's just what I did this week.

Let me back up a little bit. I started on this photography kick just over a year ago. At the time I bought my DSLR camera it was kind of a whim. I was like 14 months pregnant with baby #3 and I was hormonal and not thinking rationally 99.7% of the time. I wanted to be able to take beautiful pictures of my family that I could be proud of and I wanted to capture everyday moments at home. Thinking back, I was tremendously overwhelmed at the thought of baby #3. I was panicking. In hindsight, I think I bought my DSLR as a way of saying to myself, "Do it! Do something for yourself that has nothing to do with these three little beings that consume your every waking minute." Now don't get me wrong - I adore my children and I enjoy being a stay-at-home mama. But for the past four years, they have been my life, my career, my passion, everything. I needed something of my own. Photography has been a tremendous creative outlet for me. I could never possibly know all there is to know about it and this is exciting to me. I'm constantly growing, learning and evolving in this area of my life. And yet it doesn't consume my life.

Fast forward to this week. My very sweet friend asked me to take some photos of her three kids. I couldn't believe she asked...and I was thrilled. I had no idea I would be in this place a year ago. But it feels good...it feels like going back to a place you've been before but haven't visited in a while. I feel a sense of accomplishment having given her some fairly decent photos of her kids. I caught their personalities and genuine smiles. The photos are not perfect - far from it. But I learned so, so much in the hour we spent together. For example, bathroom humor is always, always funny. And trying to get three kids to act naturally and smile genuinely is part luck, part strategy. And I have to brush up on my "Knock Knock" jokes.

A huge lesson I've learned this year about myself and photography - sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you get it right. In some small way this week, I feel like I got it right.

2011-05-09T11:37:00.001-07:00

I did not get around to an inspiring blog tribute to my own mother yesterday - does she even read this thing? I did not take a single photograph yesterday. I simply enjoyed my three littles and, as I lay in bed last night thanking God for their sweet souls, I found myself wondering what they will say about me someday. What will my legacy to them be? My parenting style can often be very near-sighted. Sometimes out of necessity but often times because that's just my personality. I'm convicted to be more far-sighted and to really think about my children as someone's wife, husband, best friend, mother, father. I want them to know they are precious. Perfect in His sight. Wonderfully made. Cherished. I want them to love God and to have servants' hearts. These are the things I prayed for them last night.

"You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You are made for so much more than all of this. You're beautiful. You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His. You're beautiful." ~Mercyme

randoms

2011-04-28T12:28:00.001-07:00

{Random #1} The new Athleta catalog came in the mail yesterday. It's taunting me. Really. All the cute yoga tanks and running clothes, not to mention the great swim suits. I want to barf. Believe me, I know I need to get back into a regular routine of exercise of some kind but I'm just not feelin' it. Haven't been feelin' it for at least a year. A friend of mine mentioned a girls' running club. Sounds intriguing and motivating. Maybe some serious accountability is what I need.

{Random #2} C-bear has another wiggly tooth. Wiggly teeth kind of freak me out. They make my skin crawl. I wish she would just pull it out already. I would pull it for her if she would let me within a mile of it.

{Random #3} In the Midwest we talk about the weather all the time. We are obsessed. And I'm starting to get really ticked. It's cold and rainy again today and it's April 28. Seriously?! Could we please just see the sunshine for a bit? Is a little warmth too much to ask? Apparently so. Word on the street is that it's going to be 70 and sunny tomorrow. We'll see, Weather Boy. Izzie and I did pedi's this morning just in case we can bust out the flip flops and jellies tomorrow. A girl can dream.

{Random #4} I'm not sure I should be admitting this publicly but, while watching Modern Family with my hubs last night, I realized why we love that show so much. It's hilarious. And Matt = Phil Dunphee. Matt laughs hysterically at almost everything Phil says. Hmmm...wonder why. Probably because he does the same "gun show" joke all the time. Their sense of humor is way too similar...it's scary. I heart Phil.

{Random #5} We will most certainly be watching the Royal Wedding tomorrow. I'm totally wrapped up in the hype. The kids and I will be having tea and scones for breakfast while we watch beautiful Kate become a princess. I may whip out my British accent. Okay, I will for sure be serving breakfast with a British accent. For once it will be totally appropriate.

{Random #6} We began cutting out naps for Iz last week (my choice, not hers, though I am seriously questioning my decision on a daily basis from about 4 to 6 p.m.). Isaboo has fallen asleep on me 2 afternoons this week, as soon as I'm not watching her like a hawk. I know Girlfriend needs her sleep but so do I!! Going to bed at 10pm when you are 4 years old is just not an option in this house. Period. So she's sneaking naps now. Yes, I feel terrible. But then I laugh and grab my camera. When I'm all done snapping away, I wake the sleeping bear....and watch out!! No photos of that experience because it is a bit frightening until she calms down. Ha!

On Tuesday I found her hiding in her closet, fast asleep in her laundry basket. Today she fell asleep in the chair watching Olivia. And yes, even at 4, she still sucks her thumb. Don't judge. I'm not up for the battle of the century just yet.

rite of passage

2011-04-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

Being a mother means many, many rites of passage along the way. There's the first time your newborn son pees on the nursery wall while you are changing his diaper and trying to figure out how to contain the fire hose. There's the first big fall off the two-wheeler bike and the scabbed knees that come along with it. And, of course, there's the first day of preschool and kindergarten that make your heart swell and break simultaneously. Of course these are rites of passage for our kids but they are also moments frozen in time for us as mothers, don't you think? They are days and moments and events that we will never forget.

For several weeks Caroline has been talking about an art project they were working on at school. Since she's in kindergarten and only goes to school in the afternoons, they don't have art class on a regular basis yet. So art class is a BIG deal for our girl. Can you guess what they were working on? Pottery. I remember trying to make my mom and dad a coffee mug in first grade or so. It probably wasn't really functional but I remember the looks on their faces when I brought it home - they were so proud of me and acted like that mug was the holy grail. No joke. And the mug that my brother made for my dad sat on his dresser for years. I'm not sure what he put in there (spare change, maybe?) but the fact that it sat on the dresser in a place of honor meant so much.

So when Caroline unwrapped her vase this last week, I think I had tears in my eyes. I'm such a sap, I know. But I couldn't help it. She was so proud of herself and explained how she molded the shape and pinched softly here and there, creating her masterpiece. It was her pottery but it was a rite of passage for this mama. I didn't have to pretend that I loved it or that it was amazing....it is.

grateful

2011-04-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

We had a lovely Easter weekend. Family, food and lots and lots of Easter eggs and candy. I have plenty of photos from the weekend filled with color...maybe for another post. Tonight I write with a grateful heart. For His love and His sacrifice. Happy Easter!

finding my rest

2011-04-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28-30

Often I am a go-and-do-and-see kinda girl. I love taking my littles all sorts of places and I love to watch them enjoying themselves. We enjoy picnics at the park, bike rides, the zoo, playdates, the beach. But truly, I am a jammies-at-home kinda girl. When life gets a little nuts, I find myself craving my cocoon. My yoga pants, my kids in their jammies til noon (or sometimes all day)and the quiet routine of home. It's where I feel most like myself and where I find my rest. I find myself seeking and listening for the whispers of my God. And His answer is always the same when I am feeling a little anxious, overburdened or run down - come to me and find your rest.

four

2011-04-17T18:59:00.000-07:00

Our girl Isabel turned four today. At exactly 5:52pm she came barreling into our lives and hasn't slowed down since. My labor and delivery with her lasted exactly 39 minutes. Yep, that's right...39 minutes. Crazy, huh? I'll spare you the deets (you're welcome) but let's just say it was fast and furious. Matt barely made it there in time. Heck, my doctor barely made it there in time. But, that's Iz for you. She does things in her own way and in her own time.

We jumped into the birthday celebrations a bit early. Isabel has been begging to have her ears pierced for at least a year. So, that's what we did on Thursday and she didn't even blink. She picked out a couple of new pairs of earrings to wear after her six weeks are up - and yes, she's counting the days until she can sport her new gummi bear and cupcake earrings. On Friday she had a few friends here at the house for "pin the tail on the bunny", musical chairs and cupcakes - I went old school and I'm so happy I did. We spent the rest of the weekend celebrating with family, riding every ride at Nickolodeon Universe and capped off the weekend with bike rides and Tangled.

Thank goodness the weekend is over. I can take a deep breathe. She is exhausting. I say this tonight in a good and thankful way, not in a I'm-going-to-pull-my-hair-out kind of way. When it comes to Isabel, you are guaranteed two things: 1). you will be mentally and physically drained after spending the day with her, and 2). you will laugh til your stomach hurts, shake your head and wonder where she came up with that one-liner and thank God for her precious soul. Every. Single. Day.

Happy, Happy Birthday to my precious girl.

this & that

2011-04-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

I have a little bit of this and a little bit of that to share today. Been taking lots and lots o' photos lately...really proud of my effort! Haha!

My goal is 30 photos - 3 times per week. Just to practice, to play and to really take in what's around me. I find that when I'm taking photos I really pay attention to the details. When I'm snapping photos of my kids, I notice how long and beautiful their eyelashes are. I notice how dark their hair has gotten and I know that soon it will be streaked with sun-kissed blonde. I really focus on the dimples in between Jack's knuckles and the way Caroline runs her tongue along her top gum, checking for the millionth time to see if her other front tooth has finally decided to join its partner. These are things that I see everyday but from behind my lens I really focus on them and, I think, become even more appreciative and aware of how blessed I truly am. Bonus.

When I'm searching for something or have an idea in my head of what I want to shoot, it rarely happens. It seems that something else unexpected always turns up and almost always makes for a more interesting photo or subject. I suppose there is a lot to be said for this - for the organic nature of photography. I like that, in the words of Pinkalicious, "You get what you get and you don't get upset." Because, in the case of my photos, what I end up getting is almost always better than what I would have set up or sought out myself. Love, love, love this. Take the first two photos for example. After I dropped Izzie off at dance, I quickly ran to a little park nearby. Everything was grey, cold, flat. Nothing colorful or interesting. A bit depressing, in fact. So I hop back in my car and head back to the studio. I drove past our little small town greenhouse and found flats and flats of pansies lined up along the windows outside. Cue screeching brakes and a quick leftie into the parking lot. Left to my own devices that day, I found ugly, grey, uninteresting. But...open my eyes and be led and look what I found.

***

Since the weather turned this week, we have been spending lots of time outdoors. John Boy loves the backyard, loves the pink Little Tykes car and puts EVERYTHING in his mouth. Sometimes funny, sometimes really, really gross. I won't go into details but you can just imagine, can't you?

***

Enjoy your weekend, friends.

hulee hoop

2011-04-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

Caroline's favorite birthday present was an $8 Cosmic Hula Hoop from my brother. According to Isabel, it's actually called a hulee hoop...just go with it, ok? Sometimes it's just easier and it's always funnier her way. Promise.

Turns out, Caroline is the only member of our immediate family who can successfully hulee for more than 2.4 seconds. I can't even remember being able to do it as a kid and Matt definitely can't do it...have you seen him dance? Scary. Scary. Scary. Maybe it's like rolling your tongue - either you can or can't do it and that's just the way it is.

Oddly enough, my brother can hulee too - but I think his record last night was about 21 seconds. Caroline's current record is 127 seconds. That's more than two minutes! I know, I'm a math whiz, right?! I can't stop laughing. Her hulee "technique" is evolving and hilarious. Her arms, her hips, her little tushie...it's all hysterical. After about 12 seconds, we all just burst out laughing and watch her go. And don't even get me started on my parents' hulee hoopin' skills...whoa. My side still aches from all the laughter in their living room last night.

The girls couldn't wait to hulee this morning after breakfast. My girls are not always in pajamas with crazy bed-head. Really. I know it may seem that way from the photos on this blog, but we do get dressed, brush the fur from our teeth and tame our manes on a daily basis. But not before we hulee. Rock on, birthday girl.

*Update: While waiting for the bus, she made it 187 seconds. New record. Just so ya know.

***

Love this photo of Isabel. And the infamous "bear bear" lovey makes her first appearance here on the blog. She (bear bear) really isn't as grody as she looks here. She has Oreo cookie crumbs on her sweet little face. Isabel may or may not have eaten Oreos after breakfast and then given bear some big time love. I may or may not have eaten Oreos after breakfast too. I did not, however, join in on the bear bear lovin'. Gross. Have you seen that thing?!

And check out little man. I forgot to change my ISO settings so this photo is super grainy but I still love it. Today I'm all about accepting what is good - his expression, his smile and the fun we were having with the hulee. I'm not about beating myself up over the grainy photos of my little love. So there.

Happy Monday!

six.

2011-04-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

Our sweet Caroline is six today. I am, once again, flooded with memories from that foggy, wet day in Pennsylvania. It was just the two of us, soon to be three. Everyone we dearly loved was thousands of miles away. Waiting.

We had no idea how much our lives would change, how full our hearts would be or how beautiful and special this sweet baby would be. In the moment of her birth, I fully understood how much my parents love me. That when they said they would go to the ends of the earth for me, they meant it with every ounce of their being. From the moment she slipped into my world, I was changed. Changed forever. I became a mother.

There are so very many things I could say about our girl, our first-born, but nothing, nothing, would be sufficient. I sit here trying to find the right words, the best words, but nothing comes. So I will say this ~ she is amazing and we are so, so blessed by her soft, gentle spirit, her sense of humor and her million dollar smile.

little red suitcases

2011-03-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid we spent a lot of time with my grandparents. When we would stay the night, I packed up my little red suitcase with ice cream cones on the front. I jammed my bag full of pj's, books and any other little trinket I thought I couldn't live without for 36 hours. These weekends with my grandparents were precious. I feel like I knew it even then; that they were days and hours and memories that I would treasure all of my life.

My grandparents were a huge influence and presence in my life. My grandfather passed away when I was 13. He was larger than life. He ran out of gas all the time. I don't think it occurred to him to fill up his little blue Escort's tank...he had better things to do. And hauling my brother and I out of the car and schlepping our way to the nearest gas station was just part of the adventure for that day. I swear my brother never has less than half a tank of gas in his car...he was scarred for life. When we were with my grandpa, there was always an adventure. High school wrestling tournaments, fall days at the apple orchard, maintaining the chipmunk catch-and-release program he had going in his garage, and the list goes on. He taught my brother and I how to ice-skate. He played kick ball in the backyard with us. He was as enthusiastic about our sports and activities as we were. Just days before he passed away, he was in the stands at my junior high track meet, timing my splits in the 400 yard dash so that we could go over them after the meet. We spent many an afternoon at Lake Nokomis swimming and eating the world's best popcorn out of those red and white striped boxes. He liked margarine, not butter. And he ate shredded wheat out of a small wooden bowl for breakfast every day. These are the things I remember about the weekends with my grandparents. These are the things I would talk with my grandmother about during our visits the past several years. We would laugh and she would roll her eyes and say a lot of "Yes, well..." because that's all you really could say.

And when my girls packed up their little red suitcases this past weekend for an overnight at Nana and Papa's (coincidentally, given to them by my grandma several years ago) , I found myself transported and full of nostalgia. I don't have too many photos from our night at Nana's...we were having too much fun and I didn't want to miss a minute.

Boys are found everywhere -- on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.
Alan Marshall Beck

the case of the missing coffee filter and other random thoughts

2011-03-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

I've always loved black and white photographs. Always. Even before I really got into photography myself. They are timeless, honest and full of soul. I love that when an image is in black and white, you really focus on the subject and everything else just seems to fade away. In this whole "try to find my style" game that I'm playing right now, I realize that, more often than not, I convert my images from color to black and white as soon as I open them to edit. I don't always leave them in black and white obviously, but it hit me this morning that I always choose that option first, just to see what it looks like. Huh. Maybe I'm on to something here.

***

We have a bit of a problem in our house right now. We have a baby...and babies are kleptomaniacs. Here one minute, gone the next. As I was unloading the d/w several days ago, Jack grabbed the plastic coffee filter basket thing that goes in our Keurig. Matt likes to make his own Caribou rather than use the K-cups so you have to have this other little fancy pants basket thing. Jack grabbed the basket and made off like a bandit with it. We haven't seen it since. We have searched high and low...and we are getting crabby without our caffeine. So, Matt put a bounty on that little basket. He told the girls that whoever finds the basket gets a quarter. Make that TWO quarters. Still, no basket. Rather than continue the futile search, Caroline - being the logical Type A first-born that she is - decided that she would make a list and a map of all the possible places in the house that Jack could have stashed the loot. She set up her "detective office" by our front door. She. is. awesome.

***

One of our favorite things to do while we wait for Caroline's bus in the afternoon is to have a little dance party. Today it was cleaned-up Katy Perry (my choice). Often, it's Taylor Swift (their choice). It is quite clear that, like most of the male population, Jack really digs Katy Perry. He's a little tired of Taylor. You and me both, kid.

***
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin

I read this quote today and it was like a call to arms for me. I need this reminder every day. I am comfortable where I am. I am safe where I am. I like where I am. But I know He has big plans for me. My job is to be open to His plan, to embrace His plan, and to live His plan for my life out loud. The more I blog, the more I share, the more I live, the easier and the more beautiful the blossoming becomes.

Super Iz

2011-03-20T12:20:00.001-07:00

Isabel was invited to a birthday party today...a party she was really, really looking forward to for lots of reasons.

{Reason #1} the little guy is such a cutie pie and he is her bestest friend at school (she says).

{Reason #2} She was going to the party by herself. A huge deal when you are three, especially since your older sister wasn't invited too. She only rubbed that in Caroline's face about 17 times since rolling out of bed this morning.

{Reason #3} There will be cake. And ice cream. Possibly Izzie's two most favorite foods in the whole world.

{Reason #4} The potential to score a Batman goodie bag. Girlfriend is all about the goodie bag. It's actually a little embarrassing. I picked her up from a birthday party several weeks ago and C's mom (thankfully, a friend of mine so I wasn't quite as mortified)told me that Isabel had asked her about nine times if she could have her princess goodie bag yet. Nice. Moving on...

{Reason #5} Did I mention there will be cake? And ice cream? Thoughts about what flavors said treats may be have consumed my girl's mind today. Seriously. If you know Iz, you know that I am sooo not exaggerating.

{Reason #6} She got to rock this super-sweet Super Iz ensemble. The birthday boy's mom called me about two hours before the party and said that he decided he wanted everyone to come dressed as superheros. Ooooooookay. So, I set to work trying to figure something out for Iz that she would actually wear. And this is what I came up with. Black shirt? Check. Black leggings? Check. Scrap black fabric from some other random project or last-minute costume? Check. A roll of insanely cute zebra print duct tape? YES!!! (Don't ask me why I have zebra print duct tape...I just do.) Score one for this mama.

She had a great time at the party. Of course, as soon as we piled into the Lady Limo to come home, she digs into her goodie bag. I hear squealing and she screams, "I got a diarrhea!" Whaaa??!! She got a princess DIARY in her goodie bag...whew.

***
As a side note to my photo friends, HELP! Check out the 2nd and 3rd photos below. It's more difficult to see on the b/w conversions but I'm having trouble with what appear to be huge window reflections on the kids' bodies or in parts of my photos. How do I fix this? It seems to happen more when I shoot wide open or close to wide open. Coincidence? Any thoughts or tips would be so greatly appreciated. :)
***

spring

2011-03-18T12:22:00.000-07:00

The weather here is finally (hopefully) taking a turn toward spring. We have had beautiful, warm, sunshine-y days this week and we are jumping for joy. It is truly amazing what the sunshine and a warm breeze on your face can do for your spirits, isn't it?

I love watching my kids experience the world. Jack had his first taste, literally, of sidewalk chalk. He splashed and sloshed his way through his first giant puddles on the sidewalk and in the little trough between the end of the driveway and the street. He took his first walk down the sidewalk, jabbering away to the girls who were biking ahead of him and stopping to stare at the folks walking their dogs. He is experiencing his first spring and he's loving every minute of it. And so am I.

The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring.
~Bern Williams

Shakespeare & some photos

2011-03-15T11:00:00.000-07:00

"This above all: to thine own self be true." ~Shakespeare

I'm struggling with finding my own style, my own voice, myself in my photography. I follow several really great photography/life blogs - some of the "authors" I know, others I don't. I used to feel really inspired and motivated when I would look at their photos and try to figure out just how they captured it, what lighting they were working with, what the shots looked like SOOC (straight out of camera) and so on. I ask lots of questions and try to practice often. Sometimes life happens - okay, a LOT of the time it happens - and I don't pick up my camera for a few days.

About a week ago, a friend of mine sent me a great article about being yourself and finding your own voice and inspiration. Stop caring what others think - photograph what you love. I'm taking that advice to heart. My friend couldn't have known it, but this was exactly what I needed right now. A big thanks and hug to you, Stacey.

And so, my friends, these are photos that I've taken recently that speak to me for one reason or another. They are not technically perfect (or even great), maybe they aren't composed according to "the rules" but at least for today, I don't care. With the exception of the black and whites, I really did minimal editing. I'm focusing more on getting the technical stuff right and will worry about composition and artistic impression later - a HUGE lesson I learned about myself during my winter workshop. They make my heart happy and that's what counts.

one year

2011-03-10T10:54:00.000-08:00

Today is the day, one year ago, that we welcomed our sweet little boy, John Matthew (Jack), into our world. As I remember that morning, the emotions and the elation all come rushing back. It's like I'm in that hospital room again, squeezing Matt's hand for dear life and knowing that we will meet our baby any minute. When my doctor told us he was a boy, I think Matt and I were both shocked and amazed. We loved the surprise. He looked just like Caroline did and, after his initial big cry, she laid him on my chest and he quieted almost instantly. He looked straight into my eyes as if to say, "hi Momma." In the quiet dark of that Northfield hospital room, our lives were blessed and transformed for the third time. Below are some images from that morning.

This is my amazing husband, Matt, holding Jack for the first time. He's wearing his "baby day" shirt, as we call it. He wore it during the labors and deliveries of all three of our babies and now that shirt has been retired. It's nestled in the keepsake box alongside the newborn beanies and coming-home outfits. I see that shirt and the tears begin to sting my eyes and wet my cheeks. He was such a proud papa that day.

And today. What a sweet and wonderful year it has been.

back in the groove

2011-03-09T10:33:00.000-08:00

I haven't picked up my camera in about two weeks. We've just been busy and when I've had some down time, I guess my mind and my hands have been preoccupied. One of my very favorite things to do is spend the morning - okay, most of the day, really - in my pj's at home with my little loves. I love to be home. No errands, no preschool, no playdates, no agenda. Love it. These days seem to be few and far between lately. But this morning we got to enjoy our jammies, a huge and yummy breakfast together without rushing, and toddling back and forth between bedrooms reading books, playing hide-and-seek and getting nice and wrinkly in the bathtub. A little slice of heaven for this simple girl.

Apparently Izzie takes after me in the make-up department...not incredibly skilled. Do you like the eye shadow uni-brow? I don't do THAT, exactly...

***
John Boy turns one tomorrow. Prepare yourselves for an onslaught of pictures from that day and wistful gushing from this momma. You've been warned. :)

Happy Wednesday friends.

you should see MY house...

2011-03-07T12:34:00.001-08:00

You know when you're talking to a girlfriend and she says, "You should see my house!" and then you say, "No way. You should see MY house."? The toys, the piles of laundry to be folded, the dishes in the sink, the unswept floors, the dusty mantle, the remnants of breakfast still on the table, the dining room table turned amateur crafters' corner, and the list goes on. You get it, right?

During this season of my life, with three littles under the age of five, this is the default state of my house. I'm not proud of it, just keepin' it real. I'm actually becoming more accepting of this "new normal" and have realized that having a clean and tidy home is not always all it's cracked up to be (tell THAT to my Type A personality). Our house is lived in in a big-time way. And the more I look at the toys and the laundry, the more it all just fades away. The feeling that I keep coming back to is more about what I want my "house" to look like for God. What do I want others to see in my "house", our life, that is glorifying to God? I want others to see a soft place to fall. I want people to see our devotion to raising our children in the ways of the Lord, not in the ways of the world. I want others to see that we are using the gifts and talents that God has given us and impacting those around us. I want people to see how He is moving in our lives and know that it can be the same for them too. I want to be able to say to my girlfriends, "You should see my house!" and be really, really proud of it. I want to hear God whisper, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." I know that He is not asking for perfection, just dedication, trust and a willing heart.

***
Thanks to all of you sweet folks who have left comments and encouragement here on my lil' ol' blog. They always put a huge smile on my face and confirm that this is all good. Stay tuned for a picture palooza this week and next...our little guy turns one on Thursday and we have lots to show off. :)

thing 2

2011-02-28T10:41:00.000-08:00

This little post is devoted especially to my sweet girl and a couple of photos that, to me, capture who she is. Let me preface all further commentary by saying that we love this kid like crazy. And she drives me crazy many days. She is very spirited, and there is no gray area with her. It's either black or white, right or so, so wrong, pink or not-pink. You are either her BFF or her arch-enemy. If you cross her, I've got two words for ya - look out. Her stink-eye alone is enough to send you to the corner, cryin' for yo mama. There simply is no middle ground with her. She is incredibly sensitive and wears her heart on her sleeve. She is a gem.

Every day, this child brings a smile to my face. Last week as I was making her most often requested lunch (PB & J sandwich, yogurt and "cold water with two ice cubes"), she makes her way over to where I'm standing and says, "Table for one, please." She was totally serious. I started to laugh, she gave me her famous stink-eye, I stopped laughing and fell into my role as waitress at Cafe Isabel. She loves my British accent.

Her other favorite phrases right now all include the words "responsible" and "respect". As we arm-wrestled over who was going to brush her teeth she said "I am the responsible boss of my own teeth. You are not respecting me, Mommy." (Insert famous stink-eye again.) This little lady is going to give us a run for our money.

Perhaps the most wonderful thing about our girl, though, is her sensitivity and her love for her brother and sister.

Isabel will be 4 in April. She has truly been a gift to us. More and more, I realize, she is teaching me lessons that I still need in my own life. All kidding aside, I believe she has been given to me as a life-long lesson in patience and endurance. Honestly. That this lesson is given to me daily in such a wild and funny and beautiful package is His way of sugar coating the hard work that must come from me.

And now, if you'll excuse me, Lady Isabel is waiting...I have dragons to slay and a princess to rescue from the tower. Why do I always have to be Prince Charming? ;)

smiling eyes

2011-02-22T11:46:00.000-08:00

It seems like many, many of the photos I'm taking lately are of Jack. I'll try to get my girlies in front of the lens this week. Miss Caroline is FINALLY getting one of her front teeth so we'll see if we can't catch that. It's funny to actually see her with teeth...it's been a long time since we had anything goin' on in front. And Iz doesn't usually sit still for longer than about 1.4 seconds so she's hard to catch. Note to self: capture girls and self this week in photos. But, for today, here's our John Boy.

humbled & amazed

2011-02-16T10:42:00.000-08:00

Today I was brought to my knees, humbled and amazed, by His grace and faithfulness in my life and that of someone I love dearly. A heart that is stirring and curious, hopeful and seeking. A prayer answered.

It's easy to believe sometimes that He is not listening; that He has much bigger things and much more important people to attend to than me and my choppy, rambling prayers for those I love. But not today.